Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Crazy Things I Am Thinking

As we are counting down the days until our daughter's arrival, I am becoming more and more obsessed about one thing: I need to become a girl again. If I am going to raise a young woman, yikes, I need to remember how to be one!

What does this mean to me? Well, for one thing, dark roots are no longer acceptable. I wake up every day looking at my blondish, brownish, whitish hair and think, I have to fix this before she is born so that she won't ever see me with unkempt hair.

Realistically, is this going to be the last time my roots will get out of control? Highly unlikely! Especially as we approach child number 5. It isn't going to be any easier to slip away for a hair cut!

Secondly, this means that I am going to need to lose all my weight and achieve the body I have always dreamed of having. Otherwise I am going to doom this little girl to a life of body image struggles and obesity!! Crazy, yes I know. I would love to achieve my goal weight, but I recognize that I could give her just as much of a body image problem if I obsess about being skinny!

Lastly, I can never again be loud and raucous, whooping it up with the boys. I need to create the gentle, quiet exterior I have always wanted. I must be Victorian in my dress, sip tea quietly with my finger in the air, and possibly adopt a British accent to make myself seem more lady-like and proper.

Okay, folks, this is crazy. I recognize this. God designed me to be who I am. I can work to better myself, sure, but this little girl does not need me to fully fix myself in the next 12 weeks. She was given to me by God to raise as the mom I am, and as the mom I will become over the years. I just need to chill out.

Hopefully, all my years as a mom of boys will not make me ill equipped to be a mom of a girl. I think she is going to have a LOT to teach all of us!

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